How to raise your self-esteem without paying $1 million and without having $1 billion? The answer will blow your mind.

The two Most Destructive Fears in our life: Fear of Rejection and Fear of Failure.

We learned the following negative habit patterns often from people who are closest to us, which in many case are our parents:

1️⃣ Destructive criticism such as “Dont”, “Stop that”, “Get Away”, …

When children first learned how to walk, parents often shout out “Don’t run or you will fall.” When children first climb high, parents again scream “Don’t climb too high or you will hurt yourself.”

Those destructive criticisms were used to control us. However, those destructive criticisms develop the feeling of “I can’t” and the fear of failure.

2️⃣ Compulsive negative habit pattern was developed when children receive “conditional love”.

Conditional love is such as parents only love their kids when they get good grades or when they behave.

Children respond with: “I have to” please other people. Children who are victims of conditional love grow up being hyper-sensitive to opinions of other people. They can’t do anything without asking other people. They always have to ask others for approval. The compulsive negative habit pattern creates the fear of rejection.

If you suffer from any or both of these fears often, you most likely have low self-esteem.

How to raise your self-esteem?

There are many different methods. One simple method is to repeat “I like myself.”

It works like magic that when you can like yourself, your self-esteem increases and your fears will diminish automatically.

Below is the summary of my own 30-day challenge to raise self-esteem for the group of leaders.


In the next 30 days, I challenge you to say to yourself 10 times “I Like Myself” and post your daily status “I Like Myself” on the group. All it takes is that you will stand in front the mirror, look at yourself, say out loud “I like my self” 10 times, and post a quick status for 30 days in a row.

In 30 days, you will raise your self-esteem. You will love yourself more. As the saying goes, you can’t love others if you don’t love yourself. The more you love yourself, the more you will believe in yourself, the stronger leader you will be.

If you accept the challenge, please post below the first status “I Like Myself”.



I like myself.

After 10 times repeating ‘I like myself’, a strong positive energy flew inside my body. What a great feeling! Enjoy your day!


I Like Myself

My experience again after repeating this sentence 10 times is the strong positive energy flowing through my body, helping me regain my confidence and bringing me back to the state of happiness.

What’s your experience?


I like myself.

Another amazing day with positive flow of energy coming from “I like myself”.


Thoreau: “Most men (and women) lead lives of quiet desperation.”

I certainly lead my life with positive energy and actions.

And it starts with:

I like myself


I Like Myself

As my friend Shark Huang said about this challenge, it feels gooooood. A great feeling of positive energy!

If you haven’t done so, repeat ‘I Like Myself’ loud and clear. You can’t like/love anyone else unless you like yourself.



I like myself.


I like myself.


I like myself.


I like myself.

I like you.


I like myself.

Decision vs. choice

I made a choice to like myself in order to like others. I made a choice to value myself in order to value others. I made a choice to connect with myself in order to connect with others.


I like myself



I like myself

It’s unreasonable to like yourself, most people would say so. To them, they must like others and forget about themselves. However, being reasonable is unreasonable as they can’t value others unless they value themselves. Liking yourself is the path way to like others.

#bebold, #beunreasonable


I like myself.

It’s easy to like myself when I am winning. However, the time that I need to like myself the most is when I encounter difficulty, when I am low, when I fail, when the world turns its back on me. The same is for people I love. They need my love the most when they fail.

Love yourself, my friends! Be with the group. Join the challenge. Participate in the discussion. Show your love. As that’s the true way to love yourself.


I like myself.


I like myself.

When I say I like myself, I really like myself and it’s just so. It also takes me to “I love myself”.

Love is the most powerful force and makes one a great leader.

Loving oneself is extremely difficult.
As once you can love yourself authentically, you become the master of your own body, mind, spirit.
You love your own body, every part of it.
You love your own mind, every thoughts in it.
You love your own spirit, everything comes to you from the universe.
You love what it is. You accept the reality as it is.

Once you can love yourself for who you are, you can love others for who they are.

Once you can love others for who they are, you can lead them and add value to them.


I like myself.

I will keep asking because I like myself.

There’s no magic. Even Bill Gates had to knock on 1200 doors and only 11 said yes.

Ask and you shall receive. Ask more and you shall receive. Keep asking and you shall receive.

If you think you are too old to ask, read this article:


I like myself.


I like myself.

A great leadership lesson from old people who do great things.

Since I like myself, it’s never too late to pursue my dream. And it starts NOW, the moment I get the idea of the dream. If you like yourself, start NOW. Read this article if you ever think you are too old to do anything:


I like myself.

It’s selfish to like yourself. That’s what most people would tell you. Well, we are not like most people. We are not even trying to be like most people. We are not even attempting to get people to like us. We are leaders. Leaders being in front will get all criticism first. As leaders see further and go further than the rest, doing things people don’t see nor understand would surely cause people to criticize us. The only way for us to be persistent to keep on keeping on is to like ourselves and believe in our mission.
Like yourself. Love yourself. Liberate yourself from looking good. Free yourself from all the opinions of others. Be the leader.


I like myself

If you really really like yourself, take at least 20 minutes a day to think. Yes, 20 minutes to just think about your goal and how to move closer to your goal day by day. Here’s the method:…/30/20-minutes-that-can-change-your-l…/


I like myself.

Because I like myself, I refuse to be a victim. Because I like my people, I refuse to let them be victims. This is real leadership.

Read more to understand the context of this post at:…/21/why-a-bad-job-is-worse-than-no-job/


I like myself.


I like myself.

On a coaching call with a leader (let’s call him Werner), he wanted to forgive his boss but he couldn’t. Even the thought of forgiving the boss caused him headaches. He had too much of resentment toward his boss because the boss did something damaging to his life (according to the story he told me). Our previous calls helped him not paying attention to any thought about the boss. However, whenever something happened to his life recalling the damage his boss did to him, he felt anger and resentment to his boss.
In other words, he was fine when things were normal. When he felt positive, he had the power to set his boss aside. When he was down, the only thing coming to his mind was the thought of his boss and his anger.
Doing this ‘I like myself’ challenge taught me that the time I need to like myself the most is the time I am down and there’s nothing I could think of liking myself. In other words, I need myself the most when I am down.
Our coaching centered around this that Werner should love himself and the time he should forgive his boss the most is the time when he’s down. I could feel Werner’s calmness and peace of mind once he grasped the concept and put it into practice with his own situation. He went from feeling down to being upbeat and being happy to carry on with his present tasks.


I like myself

Since I like myself, I choose a career that I work with people I admire and respect. I choose a career that I sell to others what I would buy myself.

Three rules for a career:

1) Don’t sell anything you wouldn’t buy yourself.

2) Don’t work for anyone you don’t respect and admire.

3) Work only with people you admire.

CharlieMunger quote 1


I like myself.

This takes real leadership.

The best thing a human being can do is to help another human being know more – Charlie Munger

CharlieMunger quote 8


I like myself.

Enjoy this great quote, my friends.

“Until you know who you are is empty and meaningless, you don’t know anything.” – Werner Erhard

Werner Erhard quote 1.jpg


I like myself.


I like myself.

As Mark Zuckerberg is celebrating his new born August, enjoy this quote.



I like myself.


I like myself.

you can turn off the ☼ sun ☼ but i’m still gonna ☆.:*´¨`*shine*´¨`*:.☆

Smile and shine, my friends.

Congratulations to Marloes Hagels and Torrey Umland for going all out with the “I like myself” challenge! You guys are really awesome.

This 30-day challenge is one of few challenges that the group “Being a Leader” conducts. If you would like to develop your leadership, check the group out.

#thesamuraicoach, #bebold, #beunreasonable, #leadership, #self-esteem, #lifeisgood

Why a bad job is worse than no job

This “a bad job is worse than no job” reminds me of the vicious cycle.
Having a bad job makes you want to quit because it’s bad for your health. However, having no job leaves you with no income and you might end up worrying more. So you will not leave the bad job or will take another bad job. There are people who keep going from one bad job to another bad job just to avoid the bad job.
This vicious cycle creates the victim mindset. Quitting won’t help for long as with this victim mindset you will enter another bad job and another bad job.
If you tell yourself that you “have to” take this job or “have to” quit this job, you are the victim.
Thinking like an owner, developing the owner mindset will free you from this vicious cycle. With the owner mindset, you own your own destiny. You are responsible for your own life. If you are in a situation that you can’t make a difference, change courageously.
Refuse to be the victim. Then this “a bad job is worse than no job” no longer applies to you.
If you need help with knowing whether a job is right for you, this might help:

Why your employee behaves like an asshole? and you don’t know

First of all, you won’t like the answer. So if it pissed you off, stop reading. Go cry instead. If you have the gut to read, let’s continue.

The short answer is because you allow it.

Here’s the long answer.

First let’s give this employee a name: Messi.

Messi is very good with what he does. In some way, Messi is brilliant. Otherwise, you probably don’t care about him in the first place. Or you might have fired him when people complained to you that Messi is an asshole.

Messi only has one tiny problem: he doesn’t work well with people.

He behaves like a child. He screams, yells, uses manipulative words to get what he wants from others.

When his screaming, yelling, kicking doesn’t work, he uses his boss to get what he wants.

A typical way of using the boss is “my boss said so, so let’s do it or he will be mad.”

Surprisingly, this tactics of using the boss works. Messi got what he wanted all the time. Why? because no one ever went to Messi’s boss to ask for clarification.

And if anyone does, Messi’s boss would confirm whatever Messi said earlier and tell the brave person to do what Messi said. The behavior is reinforced time after time and people learned to listen to Messi.

To the boss, Messi is the most beloved and charming employee. In fact, the boss does everything to keep Messi happy.

If anyone ever mentions something different about Messi, the boss would shrug his shoulder off and told the poor guy that Messi deserves the love.

Messi would continue his tactics of screaming, yelling, manipulating, and using the boss when he can’t succeed with his own manipulation.

The word to describe Messi is the bully at work.

And when the bully gets what he wants, he will keep going.

You will only know about this type of behaviors when Messi starts to disappoint you.

Or when you start hearing complaints after complaints about Messi.

Or when you start finding out why things don’t work.

You might wonder how you can help Messi before it’s too late.

Yes, that’s a smart thought. If you let Messi continue, it’s not only harmful to Messi (he also needs to grow up), but also in the long run it doesn’t help you. People will stay away from you.

So how can you help Messi? how can you help yourself?

The following describes a simple method that you can start using. More complex and powerful methods are available upon requests.

  1. Gather 360 feedbacks about Messi. Ask people to give candid feedbacks.
  2. Observe Messi and become aware yourself with how Messi behaves toward others
  3. Meet with Messi and have a candid conversation with him. Messi will listen to you as usual.
  4. Give Messi feedbacks
  5. Come up with a plan of actions with Messi to change his behavior
  6. Work on yourself and become aware why you allowed the type of Messi’s behavior in the first place.

Keep in mind that team work makes dream work. To succeed, you need a team.